“I’ll ask Hubby” – How you can get your life back, now!

Well I must admit I was surprised when Emma asked me to write a piece for her blog, but then in a way I was relieved that I could feedback from a ‘partners’ point of view

I sit back and shake my head sometimes when I hear the Mum who has been on the phone with Emma for over an hour go through the crying stage and frustration and then sound hopeful that her babies sleep issue can be solved, only to hear them say “I’ll ask hubby”. So many clients get back on the phone to Emma informing her that “hubby said no”.

I hope at that point, reading this blog can help that partner decide to make the right investment rather than look at purely the cost. I don’t know everyone’s situation but I hope in sharing mine, you can relate and make a judged decision.

Before our son was born we did it all, Movies, meals out, trips out, holidays, and a good healthy relationship with the required intimate contact needed, all going well.

Then our first born came along and the first few weeks was that awesome experience with late and early morning feeds as it should be….no sleep but loving it.

But slowly reality set in. Energy levels were depleted and all the friends and well-wishers were gone. We were on our own with no family around. Very quickly, Emma was exhausted all the time and sleep was a snatched 20 minutes here and 30 minutes there. Barely enough for mental health but not the deep sleep required to recharge the body and stay healthy and recover.

Coming home from a hard day’s work was a shock now, I would come in the door and be handed a tired, crying baby with Emma going out the door saying “all yours, I need a break”. The door would shut, the car would shoot off and I was on my own, worrying about our Son but also my partner and best friend who looked terrible and was now sleep deprived driving a car around Perth. Not the best idea even if you’re not sleep deprived.

Well as you can imagine the movies ended, meals were just grab and go takeaways, holidays were gone and the relationship we had seemed a distant memory with the intimate contact gone. My thoughts were “what have we done?” and “why is it so bad?” What was going wrong? Is this normal?

Well thankfully Emma is amazing and even in her sleep deprived state she knew this couldn’t go on and through some training (and we had to pay for that) and Emma’s own research, we tried this ‘sleep method’. I can still remember her coming home with a smile on her face, a smile I hadn’t seen for so long and shouting “we can fix this and it starts tonight”. Well it did and Emma put in place the strategy and techniques that she has now refined into practice.

The hardest thing I have ever done was to go through this, but I trusted her and I knew we couldn’t continue this way anymore. Within 3 days he was sleeping through, I couldn’t believe it, 3 days!!!! We had dealt with this for 6 months and now we were at the point of walking in and putting him in his cot and turning round and walking out…it was amazing. At that point our life changed, sleep came back and everything we had before came back, not all of it as our family and needs had changed, but the stuff that really mattered, we could sit and chat over a homemade meal, enjoy our time together and become intimate again.  We even went on to have a second child! It’s now a great thing to go into their bedrooms and see them fast asleep and know the journey we went along to get them there.

So ultimately, yes you will have to pay for decent help. You can pay for it in a consultation with Emma or you pay for it with a gamble, a gamble that it will work itself out and all will be well. The first thing I do for my friends when they have a baby is get them a voucher for Emma’s help. Sometimes I feel that if everyone who sent flowers and bought babies clothes and toys that would never be used would all just chip in and give you the money instead, this help would be paid for by them. If Emma had her way, she would do this for free and I know sometimes she does.

You know that saying “Happy wife, Happy life”? It’s true. This may just make her the happiest woman on earth and that makes it worth every cent!