10 Signs that You have a baby sleep problem (and not the baby)

1. You’ll become stealth-like with military precision, whilst manoeuvring around the house. The commando crawl out of the child’s room becomes as fluent as a casual stroll down the street.

2. Where you once enjoyed your friends company, you now cringe at the thought of them visiting at nap time.  Especially the one with the really loud laugh!! You visit her ONLY at her house now.

3. You put your phone on silent at nap time and then spend the rest of the day looking for it. It’s on SILENT…  You’re screwed!

4. You put a note up on your door alerting well-meaning visitors of their almost certain death if they knock or ring your door bell.

5. You’ll lead line the walls and doors to the baby’s room, have triple glazing on the windows and finally succumb to buying a bark collar for the dog!

6. The neighbours’ dogs all, one-by-one, disappear under suspicious circumstances.

7. You think about taking out shares in lavender essential oil companies and when the lavender baby bath is on special, you stock that shit right up!

8. You only leave the house when you’ve run out of toilet roll and have used up all the tissues AND kitchen roll in the house “’til you get to the shops”. Bet you didn’t think of the kitchen roll did you? You’re welcome!

9. You post a picture of your sleeping baby on Facebook because for that 10 minutes, you’ve nailed it!

10.  Shhhhh!!!!! You’ll wake the baby!!! You’ll spend the first year of your life saying this, especially if you have a toddler!!

But here’s the real deal right here….
Did you know that we’re not built as human beings to sleep in silence? Think about it! Look back into cave man days. We slept in a big cave surrounded by people and noise. Wind, storms and the person next to you snoring and farting next to your head! But it’s with best intentions that we try to make everything quiet for our children to sleep peacefully, even though they fell asleep on your shoulder while the brass band was marching down the street!

A certain level of noise is actually good. Please don’t use white noise Apps on your phones or tablets though. Long story short, you may be damaging little Molly’s hearing. But a fan, the washing machine on in the laundry, rain on a tin roof or the “revitaliser” from Nature Direct (my favourite) are all tools you can use to help your baby sleep more soundly and FOR LONGER!!!! And remember this – normal household noise is not only essential for you to get things done at more than a snail’s pace, but it’s also reassuring for your child to both fall asleep and wake up to.

Playing music in your child’s room has been proven to keep a child in a lighter sleep cycle for longer, whilst using white noise has been proven to keep them in a deeper phase for longer. Now although white noise has been linked to an increase in hearing loss and auditory processing disorders in children, white noise under 60 decibels is said to be safe.

So with all your best intentions of helping your child sleep more soundly, if you’re doing ANY of the 10 things above, you’re exhausting the poor little buggers and yourself at the same time!!!

Get some white noise happening and sleep your arses off as that brass band goes marching by!

Happy sleeping!
The Goodnight Nurse